The end.

I've contemplated writing here a few times over the last few months. I've tried to decide if I should just close this whole thing up and move on. I think I've come to a conclusion that makes me happy and we'll go with that for now.

I can't stand finding a blog only to click the link and find out it hasn't been updated in months. So the idea of letting this sit and rot doesn't really feel right to me. I started this blog in 2004, mainly so I'd have a Blogger account to enable me to comment on Jodi's Blogger blog. A lot has happened to my family since 2004 (read the archives, I don't want to relive a lot of it, thanks.) And I think what I wrote was meaningful at the time - some of it still rings true now. But I'm older, have lived through situations that have changed my outlook on life and my perspective. And my faith. We've lost some very dear people over the last year especially and have been reminded time and again that this life is not our purpose.

I'm going to leave the blog and its archives up until the end of the year. I'll most likely pull the site after that (it's really just taking up internet space and I hate the idea of cyber-trash sitting around.) But having said that, there may be room or time for a new blog to takes it's place. I think that's a conversation for later this year when the weather gets cold and I'm stuck at home more. I'm also considering just focusing on Faith & Art because that's honestly where my passion lies and where God seems to keep pulling me back.

It's not like any of this matters... every time I come up with a plan God pretty much puts His foot down and shows me how much better His can be.

Thanks, guys.

At Tara in this fateful hour...

[With my friend] in this fateful hour
I place all Heaven with its power
And the sun with its brightness,
And the snow with its whiteness,
And the fire with all the strength it hath,
And the lightning with its rapid wrath,
And the winds with their swiftness along their path,
And the sea with its deepness,
And the rocks with their steepness,
And the earth with its starkness:
All these I place By God’s almighty help and grace
Between myself and the powers of darkness.

~ St. Patrick's Rune (variation) quoted in A Swiftly Tilting Planet

Offering up prayers for a friend. And St. Patrick and his rune help me remember God isn't sitting at a desk taking incoming faxes.  He is the Lord of all creation; not only the fire, winds and seas but also of the strength and fury they possess.  He is a strong God.  And He is forever on our side.  I know we will win regardless.  But hoping it will be in a way that's a little less painful for people I care about.

Yo.

There's no good way to start a new post after taking four months off totally ignoring this blog for the last four months.  I stopped blogging for a while.  That's pretty much it.  I'm not sure if I have anything to say right now, to be honest.  The Faith & Art Blog should pick up here again soon (it slowed down after Sam died.)  I've had a few friends ask about it and over the last few months I've been processing the crap we've been through and realized, once again, that I was right all along with regard to the fact that I am nothing without my creativity as it's one of my strongest life-lines to God and my faith.  I just really feel incomplete if I'm not able to create something... anything... on a regular basis.  I'm not sure why I've fought that off and on for so long (maybe because it doesn't pay the bills and often takes the place of doing other, more "responsible" things like folding laundry or unloading the dishwasher?)  

We'll see.

Perfect mix.

This has a little bit of just about every great Christmas movie there ever made (minus the Grinch... though he wouldn't really fit the song I guess, eh?)  

P.S.  There is actually a high res version of this on YouTube as well.

Can you believe it?

I actually posted twice in one week to Faith & Art.  Pick yourself up off the floor and check to see if it's raining frogs because this may be a sign of the apocolypse...

Thinking.

It's still there.  And I posted something. If you're interested, go have a read (no pictures, just reading.  Sorry.)

Thanksgiving recap.

I hope you all had a really great Thanksgiving.  Lianne and the girls were with us and the rest of our immediate family at my parents house.  And most of the day was good.  It was just long.  And still so close to having lost Sam that things just felt odd.  I can't say, "we'll get used to it."  Because I don't think we will.  I know Lianne never will.

In an attempt to remember that we do still have things to be thankful for, here's my little recap of our weekend...

Wednesday evening I cooked turkey #1.  All 20 lbs of him.  Rusty carved him up and we stashed it in the fridge for the next day.  Thursday morning I cooked turkey #2 (a mere 12 pounder.)  He went to my parents house all in one piece.  By the time we left we had one carved turkey, one whole turkey, multiple pans of buttered egg noodles, cranberry-orange relish, stuffing and butter beans leaving the house with us, heading to my mom's for dinner with multiple family members.  It was yummy.

Friday morning I hauled my booty out of bed only so I could meet up with three friends from high school.  My WW posse, if you must know - Jen, Amer and Laurie.  Laurie was in town from KY and it was so good to see her.  We spent three hours at Panera and it was just so comfortable.  I forgot how nice it is to be around people who've known you your whole life.  I appreciated not having to explain the stuff with Sam... because they were living it as well.  I've known Jen since kindergarten and Laurie since first grade.  Amer came along in high school and we were best friends almost the moment we met.  I honestly love these women and cherish their friendship.

Friday night, Jen and Amer showed up to party down (a.k.a. order Chinese food and watch ELF though we ended up ordering the food and talking for five hours instead.)  Much needed talk.  

On Saturday, Rusty finally made his way home from his overnight of fun and somewhat inebriated frivolity at Chris and Derek's.  We took the boys out and picked out a Christmas tree!  I'm excited because in Maryland we always ordered a live tree from our church (Cedar Ridge spoiled us - every year our tree was beautiful!)  When we got here for some reason we put up an artificial tree that bugged me.  This year Rusty and I made the executive decision to go live again.  We picked up a beauty for cheap!

It's all lit up... old school.  

But we have yet to dig out the ornaments.  It's been a long few weeks... we'll get to it!  The candles are in the windows and other stuff is around so it's getting more and more festive every day.

Yesterday was my niece, Callie's, birthday party.  She turned three today.  She's a riot and a sweetheart and I'm so glad she's ours.  Lianne's house was full of shrieking girls and rowdy boys with my parents, the four of us kids with our spouses and our own kids running around like loons.  There was dancing (to the Wiggles.  The birthday girl requested it.) and hysterical laughter as we watched some of the grandkids bust a move elf style.  If I can embed it, I'll post it here.  It's cute.

Then today Sean was home with a sore throat.  Not strep, thankfully, as we were at the pediatrician's office this morning.  

But it was cold and then snowy so we came home and ate soup and watched it snow while I did laundry.

So there you go.  I know you all believe I live the life of a rock star (it's ok.  It's an understandable mistake, I'm sure.)  But that was our long weekend.  I didn't promise excitement, just a recap.  And if I owe you email or a phone call, have mercy and know that life is kicking our butts right now.  We'll get to it eventually...